- Teri Gault
- April, 21 2007
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Quite a headline for a blog, huh? I’ll explain. My brother is 34 years old. He has been in and out of jail and prison since he was 18 for meth amphetamines. He has been clean for almost 4 years. This is due to being in prison, then going straight into rehab.
While Jimmy was in prison, our Dad died. Plus, our mom died when my brother was 7. I was 19. And my sister was 16. Imagine being in prison, and hearing your Dad is terminal with cancer, and knowing you’ll never see him again. Talk about regrets. But my brother is doing SO good. He moved in with us almost a year ago. So… my husband has stepped in like a father to him. And Jimmy has stepped in like a big brother to my 15 year old. It is SO awesome!
Dr. Laura says that when a person is using drugs, they don’t develop socially or in maturity. So my brother came to us like an 18 year old in a 34 year old body. Fortunately, he is brilliant, good looking, hard working, and a precious soul. And he is growing up fast. He just filed taxes for the first time in his life, is drawing a steady paycheck, got insurance for his motorcycle, and just bought health insurance, etc.
Greg (my husband) is not just advising him, though. He takes his role with Jimmy very seriously, and has always loved him like a brother. But now that our Dad is gone, Greg is investing Fatherhood into him. He observes him, like he has with our two sons over the years. For example, he picked up on the fact that he thinks that Jimmy somehow feels like he’s less valuable than other people. So Greg found the right time to convey to him that he is just as valuable, just a capable, and just as worthy as any other person in the world to have his place in the world. Greg is affirming him. And he does these sorts of little “injections” into Jimmy’s life on a regular basis.
I think the value of a Father’s affirmations cannot be measured. I think it’s a priceless investment. I think Fathers should observe their sons and daughters, and pick them up emotionally. Build them into good strong men and women, who can do the same for their sons and daughters.